Gastronomical Torquay

Torquay holidays offer its travellers a huge list of attractions along with some great restaurants which do play an important role on anyone’s holidays. Torquay is one of the most popular holiday destinations of the world, which gained popularity as a lovely seaside town with many holiday cottages. Due to abundant sunshine all through the year, more and more tourists visit this place. You can plan your Torquay holidays in summer with your family. Torquay holidays with a real continental atmosphere, sun kissed beaches and the lovely water front offer a vibrant life full of restaurants, bars and cafes. The holiday cottages are located   in  picturesque setting that offer serene atmosphere to families wanting to enjoy their Torquay holidays to the fullest. Here are some of the restaurants to enjoy lip smacking dishes during your holidays to Torquay.

 The   Room   in  the  Elephant 

 The   Room   in  the  Elephant  restaurant is situated close to the holiday cottages and offers fine dining experience with breathtaking views of Torquay due to its perfect location. You should not leave this wonderful restaurant without tasting the locally sourced seafood. It is now recognized as one of the most stylish restaurants  in  Devon.

Steps Bistro

You can make your Torquay holidays just perfect by visiting this incredible restaurant called, Steps Bistro. It offers a wide variety of drinks and wines to give your evening a perfect start. Adventurous diners can experience a culinary experience of their choice and the chefs are always busy concentrating on the freshly cooked food. They now have the names of locally produced wines from the Devon’s Vineyards on their list. With generous portions, they bring to you separate menus for lunch and dinner along with some scrumptious vegetarian dishes.

The Orchid

This is the 26 cover AC restaurant and has 3AA Rosettes under its belt. It not only offers breath taking views, but also offers lip smacking continental dishes with buffet and A La Carte options. The prices are not on the higher side which makes it a popular joint amongst holidaymakers. Since the restaurant is situated near the holiday cottages and is a must-visit during your holidays.

Langtry’s Restaurant

Langtry offers pure luxury with a romantic A la Carte spread, where you will get exclusive innovative choices of local specialties. The restaurant uses the best and the finest local ingredients which are sure to please even the most discerning diner. You and your family can enjoy a fine meal at this restaurant.

Also not to be missed are the award winning Fish and Chip shops and various other eating joints that offer culinary journey around the world- from Moroccan, Thai, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, French and Italian. So when you choose the holiday cottages you will be making sure you have a great place to stay for your Torquay holidays.

How Does Hotwifing Enhance a Relationship?

At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding — where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging — would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong.

After all, there probably isn’t a single one of us who hasn’t experienced the damage infidelity can do, either first hand or to the relationships of friends and family.

But that analysis misses the crucial difference: hotwifing and cuckolding is not the same as infidelity because the husband knows about it and approves.

And that’s the difference that makes all the difference in the world.

The reasons men are so often drawn to encouraging their wives to become hotwives is complex, but it really boils down to biology and the way they’re made. In other words, they don’t choose their fantasy: their DNA chooses it for them.

And it’s this factor most women miss when their man asks them to indulge them in the fantasy.

Which is a shame, because if couples approach it in the right way, then hotwiving can dramatically improve and enhance a marriage.

Here are three reasons why this is:

1. Better Communication.

Most couples don’t communicate, not at any deep or meaningful level. But one of the fundamentals of successful hotwiving is talking to each other.

Not only do you need to establish the ‘ground rules’, but for most men it’s imperative their wives share the explicit details of their extra-marital sexual encounters.

By sticking to these very important rules, it vitally forces couples to communicate more effectively about other things, too. This can only be good for a relationship.

2. Better Sex for Her.

Let’s face it, one of the problems with every relationship is sex tends to get boring and routine. We all feel it… but no one wants to talk about it. It’s the elephant in the room.

But hotwiving can change all that. Because the wife is having sex with new or infrequent partners, and biology dictates that’s going to be hot, exciting and adventurous sex. And the ‘naughtiness’ of the whole situation only adds to the heat, especially if the man is present or listening from the next room.

3. Better Sex for Him

Many women worry when their men bring up the subject of hotwiving that the man is simply doing it as a roundabout way to getting ‘permission’ to sleep with other women.

While I suppose this might be true occasionally, the reality is the reason is nothing of the sort (one of the perennial complaints of women who go to “swingers’ parties” with their men is it can be hard for them to get a partner — because so many of the men really just want to watch their wives having sex with other men. This is why the often invite single men to these parties — so the husbands have something to watch!).

No, the men get a real thrill out of seeing or hearing their wives “perform” and when they get them back into their own bed, they can’t wait to make love to them — and the sex is explosive, because she will often talk dirty to him about her new lover as he’s making love to her.

So everyone wins, so long as they inform themselves first so they can avoid the pitfalls.

Why Would I Talk About Elephants?

You will discover the two great reasons to think about  elephants  as you read on

First up what can we learn from “Mr Shuffles” the newborn baby  elephant  that after 4 days of his mother’s labour was thought to be stillborn – until he popped his persistent head up and with a little help like a sling under his belly held up by four zoo staff so he was able to drink milk from his mother until his legs got the hang of standing by himself. He is now a fun little animal and still getting into trouble and a recent news broadcast showed all the other  elephants  and the zoo staff rescuing him from a pond adventure. Baby  elephants  weigh around 100 kg but like all of us from time to time, they may need some help.

And so the lessons we learn from Mr Shuffles, who now has a proper name, are that we all, including our businesses, need both a helping hand and a good dose of persistence.

So why is this relevant?

Let me explain…

One of the best helping hands for most businesses is a simple and effective management system that identifies, then reduces risks, trains your staff to reduce errors, rework and missed opportunities and builds  in  feedback.

It gives you peace of mind and extra time.

It does not really matter which system you choose, environment, safety or quality because they all help your business. The best system is one that covers all these risks and is low paper but fully integrated.

The second  elephant  is the one we pretend is not  in   the   room  when we talk about systems.  In  the case of certified systems, the  elephant  is what to do about auditing.

I am the first to acknowledge that external auditing can be expensive, especially if you have an integrated system with several standards but there are things you can do.

• You may decide to only internally audit your system and this may be a sensible choice although is not as easy to get the real system benefits and improvement that an external audit helps with.

• You may decide to only audit one system but run all of them and if they are fully integrated, your external audit will help you keep them all up to speed so that you get the benefits at a lower cost.

• You can think carefully about which auditing body you want to use. I recommend smaller auditing bodies for small business because their costs are often lower – like $1,200 per day instead of $1,800 from some of the larger companies and some of them specialise  in  working with small business and understand you have simpler systems.

• If you need the highly recognised big company logos for your marketing, then your auditing fees are well worth it and much cheaper than many other forms of advert. Every business is different.

One very real benefit of an external audit is that tomorrow walks in the door and you have a deadline to keep your system up to scratch. You will get greater efficiency and reduced stress!

Just imagine not needing to deal with staff errors and what is even worse, covered up errors that come back to bite much worse than if they had admitted it up front.

Other benefits are access to tenders and large contracts and logos that help with your marketing.

I have been running audited systems since the late 1980s and it is simply the way I do business. It allows me to run effectively with minimal staff and I fully recommend you have an audited managed system.

Self Improvement And Motivation – Who Do You Think You Are?

The need for self improvement and motivation is often one of the big starting points in the whole business of “how to change your life”. But, before we go any further with the subject of self improvement and motivation, let’s pause and reflect for a moment.

What is really implied here?

Firstly that “I have a self”, and that this “self” that I have is incomplete, not fully functional, or in some way in need of improvement.

Secondly, that I need motivating to improve myself and change my life, and this is often because there is a part of me (or maybe several parts of me) that don’t actually want to see any “self improvement” and are actually quite happy with how things are right now thank you very much!

Let’s briefly deal with second point, why do you need help on how to motivate yourself? Why can’t you just decide to do something and then just do it? What’s stopping you?

There is an “elephant in the room”!

The internet is awash with “self-help” materials – articles, books and courses on “how to motivate yourself”. Endless advice, tips, tricks and lists of “self motivation tips”.

However in my view, and based on my own direct lived and observed experience, most of this completely misses the point.

Who and how do you think you are (and why)?

Let’s look a little more closely at the “self” bit of this business of self improvement and motivation.

If you were able to dedicate sufficient time to the enquiry of: “Who am I?” – or if you don’t have the time but are prepared to take the word of those who have pursued this enquiry – at least as a working hypothesis – what you would find is that ultimately there is no separate “I” in the sense of an ego as a “stand alone entity” that is distinct from everything and everyone else.

I have been down this line of enquiry myself – as a by product of some extremely testing situations that have persisted over many months and years – and it is quite scary (but ultimately liberating) to see all the layers of who “I” am peeled away.

So if I asked you right now: “Who are you?” What would immediately pop into your head: “mother of”, “wife of”, “ex-husband of”, “manager at”, “director of”, “free thinker”, “free spirit” etc?

The thing is, if you persist with this and look deep enough in your never ending quest to try to “find yourself” (does this sound familiar?) all you will find is a large amount of ideas about me, thoughts that I have, concepts, ideas and images of me – all the stuff that makes up “how I see myself” and that defines “my self image”.

At the crustacean rock bottom sea-bed level of your THINKING mind, what you will find is that there is nothing there except an “operating system” of largely automatically pre-programmed thoughts and responses that runs the bag of bones that we like to THINK of as “me”.

There is no thought based self to improve!

There is just a large bunch of software that we can upgrade, tweak and re-install!

As with any computing system it is very useful to have some degree of insight and understanding into how the hardware side of things functions, how the software runs and also some understanding of the operating environment.

Or to put it in more conventional language, it is helpful and resourceful to have cognitive insight and to become informed and educated about the processes and mechanisms of “how to change your life”, and to have access to some transformational tools and processes that can facilitate that change.

Living Room Lighting Tips

It has never been more important to choose the right living room lighting sources with care. Choosing a good lighting scheme can have a remarkably dramatic impact on your living room – it is just as important as how you choose to decorate it. Even the simplest lighting scheme can have a dramatic impact if well planned and thought out – it can make an area seem larger or ore defined. The same light bulb and lighting fixture can have little or tremendous impact on your living room’s décor Since this room is a room which will probably be used a lot for many different purposes such as reading, watching movies and television, and relaxing, selecting the right lighting sources plays a more critical part on how our family feels and will use the room.

A living room works best with layered lighting for its many uses throughout different times of the day. You can use ceiling-recessed lights to draw the eye to certain artwork, pictures or mirrors hanging on the walls in the room. You can then add table or floor lamps which will provide the direct lighting needed to read or work.

And don’t forget, that in most homes, natural light is the primary source of light during the day and a living room’s décor definitely needs to make the most out of using this light throughout the day. You can install skylights or dormer windows to increase the amount of natural lights that comes into the room. You can also use lighter curtains, blinds or shades on existing windows to allow the direct sunlight though to the room while keeping your privacy.

All in all, picking the correct living room lighting sources can make a huge difference in the room’s décor – making you feel comfortable, cozy and relaxed any time throughout the day. Sports-themed lamps and lighting fixtures are an excellent choice in decorating your living room. They will bring enjoyment, enthusiasm and illuminating light in a way for every fan to enjoy.

Motivating Your Team in a Tough Market

When the market tightens, the media spews doom and gloom and Consultants become discouraged, it may be a good time to try new strategies for motivating your team.

Traditionally, most sales teams and sport teams focus on causes of failure and try to improve weaknesses. As Sales Managers, Coaches and Trainers, we identify skill gaps and try to address them. We focus on what they are not doing well.

Well, there’s a new strategy in town! A strength-based approach to enhance motivation and teamwork. It turned the Sri Lankan Cricket Team into a world-series winning team by applying these two new processes prior to their April – July 2006 tour of England. And I thought you might like to know about it, as I think it’s exactly the right approach to use with sales teams in a tight market.

Appreciative Enquiry and Open Space Technology.

It’s all about moving from a team with a champion or two, to a champion team focused and motivated to soar. I attended a session with Dr Sandy Gordon FAPS, now based at UWA, Perth Australia who was the Sri Lankan team’s sport’s psychologist at the time. And it occurred to me that this would be a great approach for a sales team, bruised and battered by the economy.

The Appreciative Inquiry Process

AI is a positive, strengths-based operational approach to learning and development that seems to enhance and refocus Team Work. The AI Process asks questions as a group:

“What are we doing right?”

“When we are at our best, what are we doing well?’

“When we are at our best, what is our behaviour?”

“How do we make what’s working, happen more often?’

AI makes some assumptions from which this model operates:

– In every group something works

– What people focus on becomes their reality

– Reality is created in the moment and there are several realities

– The act of asking questions of a group influences the individual in some way

– People are more confident and comfortable in their journey to the future when they carry forward parts of the past

– If people carry parts of the past forward, those parts should be what is best about the past

– It is important to value differences

– The language people use creates their reality

Ultimately, it puts the attention on their goals by paying attention to the right things at the right times. It also helps identify what is out of your control but keeps your focus on the team vision.

So, how did they apply AI to the Sri Lankan team? And how can you use this for your sales team? AI took a five step process:

1) Discovery

Identifying the ‘best of what has been or what is’ and supporting their belief in a positive future

2) Dream

Creating a clear results-oriented vision in relation to the discovered potential and encouraging them to conceive images of possibilities.

3) Design

Creating possibility propositions of the newly express dream or vision and bringing the dream into focus

4) Destiny

Strengthening the affirmative capability of them and helping them recognise the dream in the present.

5) ‘Naming the Elephant’ in the room

Bringing ‘undiscussables’ into the open and having the ‘difficult conversations’. Let’s face it, every time you try to motivate your team, there will be ‘yes buts,’ as a barrier in their minds. Ask them if there’s any problems, the whole team will shake their heads, “No, can’t see any problems.” But guess what, the first thing they will talk about when out of the room are the very things you wanted them to talk about in the room.

This gives people an escape clause, a back door if you like. If they are not doing well because they are being annoyed by your DealMaker, frustrated at the lack of leads, have bought into the media story of the economy and no training will remove these perceived barriers.

But holding a confidential ‘Naming the Elephants’ facilitated by a professional, you will be able to name these Elephants. Naming the Elephant allows for identifying barriers and distractions, innovation and taking action. It allows the team to learn from each other, and teaches them not to attack or blame.

The rules are simple;

– Expect and respect different points of view

– Avoid trying to identify who wrote what

– Avoid naming names – if the ‘Elephant’ is a person, only describe his behaviour and its impact on the team.

Open Space Technology

As an Open Space Facilitator, I have seen the impact this new form of meeting has on the motivation, energy and passion of the participants. Open Space Technology is a meeting methodology which helps individuals and groups become more effective in work environments that are rapidly and constantly changing.

Open Space Technology releases the knowledge, experience and innovation in the organization which is not captured through less open processes, and applies them to specific complex issues.

Open Space works best when the work to be done is complex, the people and ideas involved are diverse, the passion for resolution (and potential for conflict) are high, and the time to get it done was yesterday.

What Will Happen?

We never know exactly what will happen when we open the space for people, but we can guarantee these results when any group gets into Open Space:

  1. All of the issues that are most important to the participants will be raised.
  2. All of the issues raised will be addressed by those participants most qualified and capable of getting something done on each of them.
  3. In a time as short as one or two days, all of the most important ideas, discussion, recommendations, conclusions, questions for further study and plans for immediate action will be documented in one comprehensive report.
  4. After an event, all of these results can be made available to an entire organization within days of the event, so the conversation can invite every stakeholder into implementation, right now.
  5. And results like these can be planned and implemented faster than any other kind of so-called “large group intervention”. It is literally possible to accomplish in days and weeks what some other approaches take months and years to do.

When the economy changes, what were once predictable cycles seem to extend well beyond what we have experienced before, you need new tools and new strategies to keep your team focused and motivated.

The end result for the Sri Lankan team? They said the meetings they held were the ‘best team meetings ever’. Sri Lanka subsequently drew the three Test series 1 – 1 and white washed England 5 – 0 in One Day Internationals, their best overseas tour performance in 25 years.

Unfortunately, a change of Management decided that these processes were a bit too non-traditional and went back to more familiar strategies.

What could these concepts do for your team? Do you have the courage to try something new?

Living the Question

Often, there are unanswered questions which drive us crazy. We assume that for every question, there must exist an answer. If the answer doesn’t present itself, it must be a case of looking harder for the answer. If we can’t find the answer, we think we should consult with experts for the answer. In fact, we like to consult with many experts, hence the second opinion.

How often have we gone to the doctor looking for an answer to some mysterious ailment, only to have the doctor say that he or she didn’t know why our body did what it did. Usually, we react in frustration or we lose confidence in our doctor, our expert. If he or she doesn’t have the answer, then they must be lacking in knowledge, skill or expertise. So, we decide to get a second opinion. Sometimes, that doctor will say the same thing. Or perhaps he or she will give us an answer that sounds good. We like that answer because it is an answer; and any answer is better than no answer. But what if the doctor’s answer is just a fancy way of saying there is no explanation? We don’t care because that doctor ‘sounded’ like she knew what she was talking about. That perceived certainty is reassuring and satisfying. But it’s an illusion and satisfies our need for certainty.

In the leadership arena, the same situation occurs. A leader often comes upon a tough and complex situation, more often than not involving people. It’s not presented as a people problem. It’s usually presented as one of these:

The project is off-track and we aren’t sure how to get it back on track

We are going through a transition and I need my people to shift their focus to another way of operating

We aren’t being efficient in how we use our time and everything is taking too long

We are losing market to our competitors who seem to be doing a better job of reaching out to the same customers

The VP is a great guy but he doesn’t have the presence to lead the team to meet their objectives

So what is the question? It will often be framed as one of organizational process, talent management, employee engagement, effectiveness, communication or other issues. Thus will begin the search for the answer and the expert to provide it. If the expert doesn’t provide us with the solution we have already concluded we need, then we blame the expert and search for a better expert. Yet, we never question the question. Or our need for an answer.

I recently worked with a team which had a new leader. This kind of change always creates great uncertainty, for the leader and for the team. In this case, the leader very quickly wanted to establish strategic priorities and move forward. I was brought in to run a skills development session on trust and influence, at the end of which the team would create action plans. We didn’t get there. In the course of the session, there was what I call ‘unspokenness” in the room; also known as the elephant in the room. When the elephant appears, everything else that happens is illusory because we are dancing around the issues. The elephant is the container for those issues and for the questions.

Sometimes, the question is hanging over our heads, like the Sword of Damocles. We know that dealing with the question will bring complexity and messiness to what we want to be an orderly process. But what games we play with ourselves. This leader and the team blithely move forward, working on strategic plans with lots of neat deadlines and goals. We all know that the elephant will reappear and the unspokenness will continue and the real work won’t get done. We don’t see the immediate impact of this, but over time, targets and goals are missed.

When we rush to solutions or action, we whiz right by the questions.

Sometimes, just staying with the question is the most powerful action a leader can take. It forces everyone to think about the question, to live the question so that other possibilities have a chance to emerge. There is wisdom in silence because it slows everything down and makes space for our imagination, our creative mind and gives us a chance to make connections.

Just living the question might be the most trustworthy thing a leader could do.

Mediocre Groups Refer To Candor As Incivility

Many groups can’t bring themselves to discuss the most basic realities which define them. Members who behave rudely. Members who produce poor quality work. Members who are not completely honest about issues. Sacred cows that have existed in the group for years. It’s shocking how often people will come to work and simple step over the dead body in the room as if it’s not there. This is a learned behavioral routine. It is also a sign of poor leadership. This is unfortunate since getting past these barriers is required for real performance improvement.

Enter our friend candor. Candor: honest sincere expression. That is to say, it is not heavily nuanced, there is no beating around the bush. The main goal is not to save someone’s feelings (though that matters), but to get the point across accurately so that everyone gets it immediately. Yes, this must be done positively, you must admit any shared blame you have for this thing you are mentioning, you must offer solutions not merely indictments, etc. To have candor is not to lack civility. It is to set performance as the highest priority. To name the “invisible elephant in the room,” to tell the Emperor he has no clothes, these are difficult tasks. Be honest and look in the mirror Mr. Leader. If your group can’t manage a little candor, you are choosing mediocrity.

You know that your group is choosing mediocrity, choosing civility over candor when members consistently denounce ugly interpersonal behaviors, yet consistently fail to discuss ugly individual or group performance. A person who uses an errant expletive or a member who is late to team meeting or someone who raises their voice a little too much – a mediocre group is likely to severely punish these members. A truly mediocre group will punish these members and willfully fail to address the performance issue which was being addressed. Loads of civility absent real performance discussions solves nothing. Civility then becomes an empty value. Brave leaders must simultaneously care about civility while holding performance in even higher esteem.

The Elephant In The Road

Question: How can you succeed applying creative leadership principles when creativity and innovation have little support in the executive suite? (The answer may surprise you.)

Answer: You can’t!

That’s right, you can’t. If you’re disappointed, stand in line. I have met many, many managers – both staff managers and project managers – who try to practice the principles of creative leadership but are frustrated by their organizational cultures. And I feel deeply sad when I hear that kind of story, because it means one more flame of inspiration will be coughing and sputtering just to stay alive. If you wonder where cynicism in the workplace comes from, you need look no further.

I used to recommend a guerrilla tactic to these folks. I advised them to establish creative work practices in their area of responsibility and focus on helping creative practices succeed there. I said they could use that as a beachhead. The idea was that the small success would spread organically, despite organizational resistance, because everybody loves success.

But I found that this guerrilla tactic only works occasionally, and then only because a powerful ally emerges in the leadership team. Having seen the profound discouragement all those other times, when no knight in shining armor materialized, I can no longer recommend it.

You see, the executive team is in many ways like an elephant, and if it wants to block the road, you’re sunk. Very frequently, the elephant is the CEO him or herself. So I’ve changed my approach and now I start right at the top. In doing so I’ve found many executives who simply don’t believe that creativity has an important role to play in the fabric of their organization.

I’m happy to work with someone who values creativity as an organizational strategy, even if they have doubts about its applicability or effectiveness in their situation. We can work together, and I can help them overcome the real and perceived obstacles.

But I absolutely will not work with people who don’t see the business value of creativity to begin with. I’ve concluded that their minds will only be changed by the success of their more creative competitors. So I explore the issue right up front, and I winnow out the doubters as soon as possible. That way I get to spend much more time with those creative competitors.

There’s a lesson here for those of you interested in change, creative or otherwise: when you’re traveling through a jungle, you’ll enjoy the trip much more if your elephant blazes the trail and gives you a ride.

Decorate With a Theme in Mind

You need to have a “theme” in mind whenever you decorate a room. The theme is what sets the “tone’ or “mood” of the room. If you decorate a room with all kinds of different décor items you will end up with a ‘hodge-podge’ effect, with no cohesiveness. You want to be able to look around the room and sense what the homeowner is trying to portray with the room.

For example:

1. Family room or ‘wreck room’ – You had a wonderful vacation at the shore and you want to recapture it in the theme of this room. You will want to look for nautical items that remind you of that time. These can be lighthouses, canoes or ships, shells, dolphin or whale figures, fish and pieces of coral. If you are a scuba diver, you may want to add any ‘treasures’ you brought up from the deep, such as anchors or masts off a wreck you found underwater (provided you were allowed to remove them).

2. Kitchen- Now suppose you want a kitchen with an ‘Apple’ theme. You don’t want everything in your kitchen to have apples on it. This would be too overpowering when someone comes into the room. So you look for 4-5 pieces ( at the most) with ‘Apples’ on them to decorate the room. Of course it depends also on how big the room is. The bigger it is the more pieces you can add. You may choose from clocks, canister sets, serving pieces, a rack of decorative plates, a towel, placemat or curtain set. If you have a lot of pieces vary them from time to time to give you a change but also continuity. Don’t use them all at once!

It is good to pick up the red shade of the apple and have hints of it around the room, say in the backsplash or tiles or and item like mugs or a pitcher.

3. Living Room- If you want a room to offer peace and tranquility, think of mute colors, scented candles or candelabra, a fountain, waterfall or autumn pictures. A fireplace adds warmth and interest. You should have seating for at least 2 couples so you can enjoy this with friends.

So now you have an idea of what to look for when decorating a room. Try your hand at it with these pointers in mind and you will have a lovely room to be proud of.