At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding — where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging — would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong.
After all, there probably isn’t a single one of us who hasn’t experienced the damage infidelity can do, either first hand or to the relationships of friends and family.
But that analysis misses the crucial difference: hotwifing and cuckolding is not the same as infidelity because the husband knows about it and approves.
And that’s the difference that makes all the difference in the world.
The reasons men are so often drawn to encouraging their wives to become hotwives is complex, but it really boils down to biology and the way they’re made. In other words, they don’t choose their fantasy: their DNA chooses it for them.
And it’s this factor most women miss when their man asks them to indulge them in the fantasy.
Which is a shame, because if couples approach it in the right way, then hotwiving can dramatically improve and enhance a marriage.
Here are three reasons why this is:
1. Better Communication.
Most couples don’t communicate, not at any deep or meaningful level. But one of the fundamentals of successful hotwiving is talking to each other.
Not only do you need to establish the ‘ground rules’, but for most men it’s imperative their wives share the explicit details of their extra-marital sexual encounters.
By sticking to these very important rules, it vitally forces couples to communicate more effectively about other things, too. This can only be good for a relationship.
2. Better Sex for Her.
Let’s face it, one of the problems with every relationship is sex tends to get boring and routine. We all feel it… but no one wants to talk about it. It’s the elephant in the room.
But hotwiving can change all that. Because the wife is having sex with new or infrequent partners, and biology dictates that’s going to be hot, exciting and adventurous sex. And the ‘naughtiness’ of the whole situation only adds to the heat, especially if the man is present or listening from the next room.
3. Better Sex for Him
Many women worry when their men bring up the subject of hotwiving that the man is simply doing it as a roundabout way to getting ‘permission’ to sleep with other women.
While I suppose this might be true occasionally, the reality is the reason is nothing of the sort (one of the perennial complaints of women who go to “swingers’ parties” with their men is it can be hard for them to get a partner — because so many of the men really just want to watch their wives having sex with other men. This is why the often invite single men to these parties — so the husbands have something to watch!).
No, the men get a real thrill out of seeing or hearing their wives “perform” and when they get them back into their own bed, they can’t wait to make love to them — and the sex is explosive, because she will often talk dirty to him about her new lover as he’s making love to her.
So everyone wins, so long as they inform themselves first so they can avoid the pitfalls.